| | I'm in a very Evanescence mood. Isn't it weird that people seem to come to this place in that kind of mood? Obviously this xanga has never been an accurate representation of myself, as I tend not to be so...well, whatever mood dominated the foolishness I have left here for the eyes and entertainment of others.
There's no reason for me to be here. I think there's just something theraputic about seeing words appear on the screen and wondering where they came from. It's the one thing I learned in highschool, typing is. Better than...I don't know, something else.
I have a problem, and I need to resolve it. My family has always been so close and right now, it feels a little unstable, and basically, I feel a little on the rocks. But, you know, I'm 22 years old, I should be fine on my own. Right?
Well.
I have been insanely happy recently. Which has been very nice indeed. I went to the beach this weekend, and thought it would be a wonderful, revitalizing time, and I'm sure it will prove itself to be so soon, I just tend to let things get in the way. It's amazing to me that no matter how busy I get I can always obsess over things that don't matter, as if I have nothing else to do but sit and do crossword puzzles while counting just how many times the neighbors dog crosses my property line.
I had a dream a while back, where my friend Jay emailed me and told me that he was sorry he missed Adam's wedding but he couldn't make it because his sister died. I didn't think about that dream again at all until last night, when Jay emailed me and told me that he was sorry that he couldn't make it to the wedding. The week before the wedding was his sisters funeral. I went to the funeral, and through the whole mourning process never once thought about that dream, but when I was reading his words it was the strangest thing. I just sat there and stared at it for the longest time and tried to figure out what it all meant.
What does that mean?
I miss her. I miss him too. Why did that happen?
I don't understand life right now. I'm really glad that I'm not in ultimate control, because I would have no idea what to do. It'll work out though. I'm sure it will.
Anyway. Goodnight.
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| | Posted 9/4/2007 10:03 PM - 576 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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